By A.J. Llewellyn
I haven’t had much reason to go to the drugstore lately but incredible stress has brought on high blood pressure and I caved into to medication. So yesterday I went to the drugstore with my friend Tracy who paid for the medication. When I get my next paycheck I plan to pay him back…but I know he won’t let me. He’s an amazing man. I will find some way to pay him back, but I must say friends like this are rare and precious.
Anyway, I didn’t realize I haven’t been to the drugstore in three years and was admiring all the crap they had to sell. Christmas junk and you name it…there was a long line and the pharmacist bawled out my name and I went to the counter and had an ugly conversation with them. Tracy thought it was bizarre and very funny and said I should blog about it. So here it is…
I was waiting for them to bring me the presciption and the pharmacist came over and in a big loud voice said, “There is a problem with your account.”
I felt the weighted stares of a bunch of strangers on my back.
“My account?” I said. “I don’t have one.”
“Yes, you do. Nelson Llewellyn is a registered needle user in the state of California, but we haven’t filled out his prescription for three years. Is there a reason for this?”
I glanced over my shoulder and I could see the expression in their eyes: “Junkie!”
I was quite upset at this point. It’s easy to upset me right now.
I said, “Nelson doesn’t need them anymore.”
Tracy just stared at the pharmacist. I could tell he was dying to laugh and punch the guy at the same time.
“Well,” the pharmacist said, “Nelson will have to come down here and tell us for himself. And, by the way, I see you were signing the receipt for his needles and insulin and that’s illegal. He has to sign for himself.”
“He wasn’t able to sign,” I said.
He interrupted me.
“He must. I can’t believe the previous pharmacist allowed you to sign for him.”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Well,” I said, “I had to sign for him. I–”
“I can report you to the state,” the pharmacist shrieked. “The registered needle user MUST sign for himself!”
“Well” I said, “it would have been difficult because you see, Nelson had many remarkable qualities, but he was unable to write. He was my cat and he died three years ago.”
There was a lot of laughter, but not from the pharmacist. He released the hold on the account. Quite clearly on the discharged needle file was the word ‘feline.’
Up on the rainbow bridge, I just know Nelson is disputing my claims he couldn’t write. He typed frequently - with often disastrous results.
Aloha oe,
A.J.
October 18th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Absolutely amazing story - sorry your BP has risen but so glad your funny bone is alive and well!
xoxo
Adriana
October 18th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Oh my, that is hilarious, but embarrassing for you, so sorry
Good to laugh about stuff like that though and at least you know the pharmacist was more embarrassed than you about the whole thing.
October 18th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Sometimes darlin, jackasses can’t help braying before they open their eyes and see what’s in front of their faces. Laugh at the antics of fools for they are the jesters who keep life bearable.Hugs and may your light shine.
Ruth
October 18th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
thank you Adriana and Ruth for your comments!
xo
October 18th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
OMG AJ, I can hardly believe it. Good for you inadvertently making him look like an ass. As far as high blood pressure goes, I too suffer from it. Watch your salt intake, and you are continuously in my prayers.
xoxo
me
October 18th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
LMFAO! AJ, my darling, that made me laugh. THANK YOU! And take care of you, friend. What would we do without your quips and insights?
xo
October 19th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
This story just cracks me up! I love your blogs.