By A. J. Llewellyn

Last night, my family had dinner and we played a new - to us - board game called The Game of Life, marketed by the makers of the TV show, Family Guy. It is kind of like Monopoly but as usual, my niece and nephew cheated mercilessly and to be truthful, it is a depressing, questionable game to market at families. Most of us have enough stress, especially in these current treacherous economic waters.

This ‘game’ is a little too close to the knuckle to be considered fun and I wonder, do our children really need to know about paying taxes, low-paying jobs, suing people to make a fast buck and oh yes, the pain and financial suffering of having children?

Yours truly drew the unluckiest job of all, Hand Biller, with an annual income of $20,000. According to the game’s directions, I’m dressed like a large chgicken and any of the other players can beat me up whenever they please.

At the end of the game, I was homeless and in the red thanks to my proclivity for producing twins. Yes, I, A.J. Llewellyn had so many sets of twins, they no longer fit in my car game-piece and I mysteriously kept having to pay medical bills and taxes on the little bastards.

Yes, bastards. I somehow got all these kids but never acquired a spouse along the way.

“This is a nasty game,” I kept telling everybody. “I want to play something else.”

When I landed on “Get plastic surgery, pay $50,000″ I decided I don’t like The Game of Life. I suck at it. Big time. I am having enough trouble with the REAL game of life. I didn’t come with an instruction manual for that one, either.

The kids thrived on seeing the adults in their lives at their mercy. Once I became penniless, they enjoyed suing their parents, a little too much. Once the game was over, the kids moved onto their Wii and the adults settled into a game of Scrabble.

We talked about how Monopoly in its inital inception also taught kids the harsh values of life.

My friend Tracy pointed out that in the 1950s, toy manufacturers created easy-bake ovens and toy vacuum cleaners for little girls.

“That’s telling them ahead of time, you will be a hausfrau,” he pointed out.

My aunt concurred. In fact she still seems embittered that her Christmas and birthday gifts were always ‘useful’ and her brother’s were ‘fun.’

“My gifts weren’t fun,” her son reminded her. “You gave me a doctor’s kit and a chemistry set. You were telling me right there and then I was supposed to be a doctor and invent a miracle cure that saves humanity.” He paused dramatically. “I hated them both.”

“I think these games all set us up to accept our limitations,” my aunt decided. “I don’t think they prepare us in a positive way.”

Her long-standing boyfriend, who usually says very little, surprised me by saying we were all overlooking the obvious. That these games teach kids the advantages of being ambitious. ”Kids need to learn the value of thinking ahead, of thinking big…this teaches them the pleasure of a hard-earned buck.”

Personally I don’t think these games teach them that at all.

In Monopoly, you get income passing GO and collecting $200. The Game of Life teaches you just passing over a green PAYDAY square nabs you a windfall. Is there significant value in that? I don’t know any green squares I can approach in my own life and landing a pocketful of money.

I could be wrong, but it all seems to be about getting lots of money and getting something over somebody else. Is there a positive value in that?

Or is it, just a game?

Personally I don’t think so, but I am curious to know…what do YOU think?

Aloha oe,

A.J.