Good afternoon, my fellow authors.

I am working diligently on my Chirstmas story and also my first book I ever wrote, Time Eternal. This book was accepted by the now defunt epub, StarDust press. Right in the middle of it being edited, the epub goes out of business. I am putting the finishing touches on it since now I am a better writer—LOL. I will be submitting it to the Divine Destinies dept of eXtasy.

Below is something I thought would make your Friday. Ladies, you know how husbands hate shopping. Before you drag your husband to Walmart, concider the following. LOL. you just might think twice on it.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips
> to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
> and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife
> is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
> received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
>

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
>
> Over the past six months; your husband has been
> causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
> tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
> both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are
> listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> people’s carts when they weren¢t looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-
> minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> women’s restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.’
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s
> on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
> shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
> from the bedding department.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
> crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
> a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
> asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
> humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna
> look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
> through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
>
> 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES
> AGAIN!’
>
> And last, but not least.
> 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in
> here!’
>
> Regards,
> Tom Richards
> Wal-Mart Manager